Nice narrative Alistiar. I liked the adventure/action When reading you used great expression. Good use of adverbs like 'with a flick of his sword' and 'pup retorted'. You explained the characters and setting really well at the beginning of the story.
Next time you could explain the other characters a little bit more so we know why they did what they did.
Nice narrative Alistiar. I liked the adventure/action When reading you used great expression. Good use of adverbs like 'with a flick of his sword' and 'pup retorted'. You explained the characters and setting really well at the beginning of the story.
ReplyDeleteNext time you could explain the other characters a little bit more so we know why they did what they did.
WOW Alistair cool naritive. you really improved Alistair.
ReplyDelete